Why do we judge ourselves for our internal feelings?

Because at some point in our life — often very early — we learned that certain feelings were not safe, not allowed, or not lovable.

Examples:

• You were shamed for crying — so sadness became “weak.”

• You were told to calm down when angry — so anger became “bad.”

• You were praised only when you were “good” or “easy” — so pain, fear, or confusion became things you had to hide.

So the inner judge developed as a kind of protective mechanism:

“If I attack myself before others do, maybe I’ll be safe. If I stay small and ‘acceptable,’ maybe I’ll be loved.”

It’s a tragic logic: the judge tries to protect you by suppressing the parts of you that were once rejected — but in doing so, it repeats the rejection internally.